The NFL is back (or so I hear, I wouldn’t know, I’m a Niners fan). But there was still plenty of bummer moments to be had, starting first an first moment with the always half-mast Jaguars.
Blake Bortles seems like a nice and funny dude and is the namesake of the always hilarious Blake Bortles Wikipedia Reading Club. But man when you’re trying to throw the ball on the ground and it bounces off a dude’s a foot and into the opposing team’s hand? That’s some blue balls shit.
The USMNT got their asses kicked by COSTA RICA! Hasn’t American taken enough L’s this week, give a girl something to look forward to for the love of god. Instead the boys were blown out 4-0 and managed just ONE (!) shot on target for the entire 90 minutes! That’s insane. That’s worse than a mood killer, that’s like finding out the dude you really like has a secret kink where he like to wear diapers and have you clean his shit up and treat him like a baby.
Athletes and their model girlfriends, ugh. While I’m no Justin Verlander fan, if there’s one thing I hate, it’s being reminded that cute and not-cute athletes alike are having sex with girls ten times hotter than me. Thanks Kate!